The secret to living a happy life is giving up these two things in life first is expectation and second is comparison. Both take away Peace and Contentment from your life. And the irony is all your thoughts are always coated with these two evils. If u ponder over this that all your bad mood that u had so far are caused by either you were comparing your life’s situation with someone else or you were expecting something from someone and you didn’t get it from them. Then you start to remember all the good thing you did to them without expecting anything from them in return.
First, let’s talk about the comparison. Why I call it evil is because Comparison always depresses you. You can never come out with a happy conclusion once you start comparing yourself with others whether it is comparing your job, clothing, performance, behavior, work ethics, education, success, achievements etc.
It seldom gives you a happy ending so that you end up showing gratitude towards God for giving you whatever you have. Most of the time it leads you to disappointment. You began to feel thoughts like everybody is enjoying in their life except me, problems are only meant for me, people are getting rewarded for their little to no efforts, god is not interested in listening to my prayers at all. All these thoughts crash you horribly.
So you better Stop Comparing your life with others because everybody is thinking in the same way. The one whom you are considering as happy is pissed off with his life and thinking that you are the happiest person with all that you have got. So stop comparing right now not because nobody is happy but because this comparing itself making you the unhappy.
When you compare your life’s situation with someone you are actually comparing a mango with a banana. Which is as stupid as your own comparison with other’s life?
You have no idea how the other person has lived his life and what Actions and deeds he has done in his life so far of which he is reaping the consequences. Because it’s not about this life only but his past lives also. You are getting what you deserve and so do others.
Now let’s talk about expectations. It’s not bad to expect but the problem is we expect from other very intensely. So much so that if other doesn’t fulfill our expectations we get hurt badly. If you want to keep expecting from others without getting hurt than you must be courageous enough to accept the complete opposite of your desired outcome. But none of us is that much flexible with life and expectations.
We are only open to our desired outcome, we welcome only what’s in our favor and rejects what goes against us. But here is the truth. That life has duality in everything. They all go hand in hand like winning and losing, failure and success, honesty and cheating etc. You can’t choose only one from the set of all these dualities without expecting the slightest possibility of the other half.
First of all, we need to understand why do we expect from others? The simplest explanation of this is we tend to assume that it might be easy for others to do a certain thing for us so we expect them to do for us.
For example, if Person A wants X result A assume that person B is in a better position than us to produce X as a result so we expect the same from person B. But that’s only A’s perception. On the other hand person, B himself doesn’t consider himself in a position to produce X result. So he fails to meet other A’s expectation. Hence expectation unnecessarily brings suffering to person A. And this happened only because person A wrongly presume person B to be in a more congruent situation in producing X as an outcome. So what’s wrong here is the wrong assumption of others situation.
We all expect from other thinking that either they are already in a comfortable situation to help or they will find it easy to adjust a little bit and help us out.
But we forget that everyone is surrounded by unlimited boundaries of limitations and responsibilities of their own life just like us. If they manage to help us out thank them and if they don’t. Well, don’t have bitter feelings for them. It’s better to expect as little as one can from others. Because it’s really difficult to give up expectation completely.
Acceptance is the key to a peaceful and contented life. No matter how much you are suffering in your life, how hard is the time for you whether it is personal life, professional life, physical discomfort, mental disturbance etc. if u just once accepted whatsoever is happening to you is what you really deserve than u will definitely find yourself in peace.
If you didn’t stop fighting with the Consequences of your past karma you will not only find it hard to bear the present condition but also make present situation more complex. but on the other hand ”accepting” that is almost saying living with the flow will surprisingly give you inner mental strength to cope with your adverse condition. Which was not there at first when you have not accepted it and fight against it.
Now the question arises why do we find it hard to accept the adverse situations by saying to our self that “this is what I deserve and I should be at peace with it”? I find there are two main reasons for this which are given below.
- None of us wants to blame our self even for our own suffering. This means taking responsibility of your every action. Even those that brought suffering to you. It is human tendency to give credit to oneself for something good that happens to us and if something bad happens to us we tend to look for someone or something to blame on.
- It’s easy to blame others as by doing this we can put our self in the victim zone and we can maintain a good image of our self of Being the one who never does anything wrong.
If one can go beyond these two narrow-minded mentalities then one can move ahead to a peaceful life.
Another option that I have put in this poll is having a Supportive life Partner. Which I think will appeal only to those who are either not happy with their partner or don’t have a partner at all. This option will only be chosen by these two.
Because the other options of the poll are so important and thought-provoking that you can’t ignore them unless you really don’t have a supportive partner and believes that he/she is ruining your life.
Now I want you to please take the poll and let me know about your opinion on this matter. so that I can make better polls like this and share each other’s valuable view about various aspects of life. Please comment below if you think I missed mentioning a particular point. or you have something worth telling here. And if you have any suggestion for me, you are always most welcome.
And please share this Post if you think someone close to you needs to read this.
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