How to Overcome From Guilt
I can understand, your intention was not to hurt and you really didn’t mean it but it was just the anger of the moment that you got out of control and you said what you never thought that could come out of your mouth. It’s ok, it happens to all of us. No of us is perfect.
This article is basically for the one who once immensely hurt his/her loved one with his/her words but had no intention of doing so.
Sometimes we do end up behaving in a way that is so not like us. I mean we all have a particular self-image of us which is obviously very nice and kind.
We have all kinds of thought in our mind 24/7 but there is always one wicked thought we all have in our mind and we accept it as the darkest part of our personality. Normally we try to flick that thought away whenever it pops up in our mind as it doesn’t fit well with the image we first created in our mind. Because deep down we know that if in any moment of anger have I ever said it, this will cause irreversible damage in my relationship with that person.
And unfortunately one day that forbidden thought just slipped out of your mouth in the heat of the moment. You completely tear his/her heart apart with your words and a few moments later you realized what the hell you have done. You told yourself so many times that I will never ever say it but this time you just couldn’t control yourself and said it.
The moment when it was happening you were not in your senses. You had no idea what is coming out of your mouth. All you wanted back then was to burst out your frustration and anger.
And now you are sad and alone. Thinking why couldn’t I control myself back then. Why I hurt the person whom I love so much.
Don’t worry, You are not alone
I can understand as I said it happens to all of us. We all make mistakes like this. You are not the only one experiencing this. Let’s be mature. Stop punishing yourself now. So what if you made that mistake. You need to understand that life has duality in everything. When you love someone it’s not that you will only have a lovely feeling for that person you also hate this person with the same intensity of love you have for this person. The problem is that you only acknowledge the love and totally ignore the slightest possibility of the other side of duality which is hatred. Actually, this very idea of having a subdued hatred somewhere in our mind for our loved one is kind of obnoxious.
“In Anger truth comes out” A Complete non-sense Phrase
Showing our affection and care for our beloved is what we like doing but if in anger we said something unpleasant that hurts us badly and what makes this situation even more regretting is the belief in this phrase that whatever comes out in anger from our mouth is the truth that we hide. It is something that almost all of us believe in. Phrases like this may sound very appealing and captivating but this is not the fact. During anger what becomes extremely important to us is to demean or humiliate the other person just because something irritated us and made us angry. For that moment love goes away and the only thing left with us is the feeling to teach him/her a lesson.
Every remembrance of guilt breaks you morally
After this humiliating session then comes a series of a self-pitying episode. When we feel guilty all the time and repent for not being patient enough. After that every single mistake of yours makes you hate yourself. Even if that mistake has nothing to do with that regretting mistake. It keeps on reminding you how stupid you are and how easy it is for others and situations outside to control you. On that day too your inner conflicts and lack of self-command took over you. And now even slightest glimpse of that day’s memory makes you cry inside. As you know that you are not that person who said that. It was completely anger which was speaking within you.
Now, all that you are left with is the feeling of guilt. Guilt is a feeling that makes you weaker. It makes you so vulnerable that you tend to develop low self-esteem because you crashed your own self-image. It’s really hard to confront guilt emotion and come out of it as a winner. What I mean to say a winner is, finally accepting the fact that a single moment of anger cannot define your personality. Life is always new not even a single moment could be bought by money if not lived completely. So it’s better to make your present alive with happiness rather than crying over past mistakes that can never be reformed.
Living with guilt will never resolve the problem but definitely make your present hell. You need to understand that you should not judge yourself on the basis of the words that came out of you in anger and by forgetting everything that you did for your loved one.
You can come out of that guilt
Earlier in this article, I have mention irreversible damage caused by our words in anger. Let me clear this now. No damage is irreversible. As I said life is new and fresh every moment. And there should be no place for regretting and torturing yourself for a stupid moment of the past over and over again. The best and the only way to get out of guilt is to become a completely new person. Improve yourself and develop your personality to such an extent so that you can say to yourself that you have not remained the same person who did or said that. And believe me, if you really be honest to yourself that change in your mind shift will definitely reflect in your personality and others will notice it too.
Transforming yourself is the key
If you are merely regretting and feeling sorry for your misdeed because you think it was not real you then you are just trying to maintain a good image of you rather than accepting your fault. It means your apology is not for hurting the other person but for the rebuilding your self-image. So accept your mistake as if it was something bound to happen because of the person you used to be. Now transform yourself and never get controlled by outside triggers. Because I know and you also know that you love him/her.
I hope this post has helped you in leaving the guilt feeling behind and have a peaceful life from now on. If you liked this post then don’t forget to share it with someone who has guilt and really needs to read this article.
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